i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
