Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
