So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
