Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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