That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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