You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
