i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
