this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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