his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
