I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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