That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
