Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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