You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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