Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
