As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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