break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
nutella sex= disaster
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
