I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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