But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
