so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
