1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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