4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
