i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
