Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Someone signed my nipple.
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