There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
