Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
