shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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