i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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