I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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