I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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