So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
only if we run a train.
done.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
