So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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