Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
