Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
