Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
