I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
3pm strippers are depressing
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
