I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
