Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
