Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
