Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
