when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
vagina is talking i cant
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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