1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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