To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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