I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
