dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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