Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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