Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I got inside last night via doggy door
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I did not marry a roomba.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
