I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
