I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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