farters have to be the big spoon...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
