The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No subtext here. People are naked.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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