I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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