Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
